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So if you’ve procrastinated at the last minute and forgot to give your lover, crush, or sexual plaything a Valentine’s Day card, you’re in luck. Here’s the 2009 Valentine’s Day Cards from Sausage-Fest.com. And if you want to send these via email, just right click each .JPG picture and paste it into the body of your email.
“Please Confirm Our Relationship On Facebook”: A remake of the popular 2005 Valentine’s Day Card. There’s no better way to be open with your love life than through Facebook. After all, if you don’t confirm your relationship there, how do we know you really have a girlfriend or boyfriend?
Download “Facebook Confirmation” Valentine’s Day Card - .PDF Format, CMYK, 3.9MB.
“Hipster Music/My Bloody Valentine”: This is a card that you send to your typical music-loving, internet-using, hipster alt-bag: from the blazer, to the keffiyeh, to the 80’s-style sunglasses, I’m sure you know a person who thinks he or she is indier and more fashionable than the next person.
This is also for fans of shoegaze music, which — by my account — is every hipster.
Download “Hipster Music” Valentine’s Day Card - .PDF Format, CMYK, 7.2MB.
“My Tumblr Crush”: Have a Tumblr Crush? Are you slightly narcissistic? Well, this card is for you. Print this out, send it to yourself, and feel content in the fact that someone sent you a Valentine this year.
Download “My Tumblr Crush” Valentine’s Day Card - .PDF Format, CMYK, 5.1MB.
“You Get My Heart High”: If you like drugs, or if you like someone who does drugs, this Valentine’s Day card is for you. Valentine’s Day is a time where you overlook someone’s unhealthy habits (or lack thereof) and express your affection with puns.
Besides, whacked-out mushrooms with hearts on them are always good for a laugh.
Download “You Get My Heart High” Valentine’s Day Card - .PDF Format, CMYK, 8.6MB
“Demon in Bed”: Why are devils so heavily depicted on Valentine’s Day anyway?
Download “Demon In Bed” Valentine’s Day Card - .PDF Format, CMYK, 5.3MB
“Fuck!”: A remake of the old, newsprint version from 2004.
Download “Fuck!” Valentine’s Day Card - .PDF Format, CMYK, 5.2MB
Of course, you can see the other Valentine’s Day Cards from years past:
- Valentine’s Day Cards: 2004!
- Valentine’s Day Cards: 2005!
- More Valentine’s Day Cards: 2005!
- Happy Valentine’s Day 2006!
- Valentine’s Day Cards 2007!
- Valentine’s Day Cards 2008!
As promised, here are this year’s Holiday cards for you to download, print, and spread like some kind of incurable disease. Each is originally 8.5″x11″ in total size, and should be folded into a 4.25″x5.5″ card — I mean, you remember PrintShop Pro for your old, old, old PC, right?
Holiday Cards for the Cheapest of Bastards: “Trippy”
Honestly, who needs the Holidays? And who reads cards unless there’s money inside them? Well, these ones are way cooler, trust me. The first of three cards based off P.Retuta’s comic, Sausage-Fest, this one is your standard card: with a Christmas tree/houndstooth-like front that will be sure to give you headaches, the inside sends a clear message to the ones you love.
DOWNLOAD CMYK VERSION (.pdf, 11MB)
DOWNLOAD RGB VERSION (.pdf, 6.1MB)
Holiday Cards for the Cheapest of Bastards: “We Three Kings”
This particular card is perfect for those who love the internet too much or those who love puns too much. In either case, once you give them this card you can say, “Look what I got you from the web! It’s ‘holly-rious’!”
DOWNLOAD CMYK VERSION (.pdf, 6.4MB)
DOWNLOAD RGB VERSION (.pdf, 3.1MB)
Holiday Cards for the Cheapest of Bastards: “I’m Way Too Indie…”
Do you know a hipster? Are you related to an indie snob? Is your barista a total scenester who looks like they were pulled from an American Apparel ad on PitchforkMedia.com? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this card is the perfect present for your little elitist!
DOWNLOAD CMYK VERSION (.pdf, 7.6MB)
DOWNLOAD RGB VERSION (.pdf, 4.2MB)
Happy Holidays, folks!
Thanks goes out to Sara Kass, who was the first vinyl-collecting, indie hipster to answer my 5am text regarding whether or not vinyl records do come with liner notes. That should be a clear indication of: 1) how dedicated I am to making comics, even forgoing sleep, and 2) that I don’t own any vinyl.
So there you have it, folks: my favorite albums of the year. Feist’s newest album — which is a little bit happier and more upbeat than “Let It Die” — is actually frighteningly addicting, especially if you accompany her music with Patrick Daughters’ superb video-making abilities.
Of Montreal consistently puts on interesting live shows, and “Hissing Fauna…” was definitely my favorite album of the summer.
Now I fell madly in love with The National after repeatedly listening to “Boxer,” and even though I didn’t think so highly of them at the time, it helped me reconnect with “Alligator” (which I feel is a less cohesive BUT nonetheless better album).
Lastly, I started listening to The Arcade Fire’s “Neon Bible” as soon as I started my last semester of college and felt it was at least on par with “Funeral.” Even though it was a close battle between The Arcade Fire and The National for the number one spot, watching the former in concert immediately after graduation stirred up old feelings and rekindled my love of the album.
And just to recap my Jeffro’s Top 20 Albums of 2007, especially if you’re too lazy to check the archives:
20) Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
19) Justice - Cross
18) Band of Horses - Cease to Begin
17) Battles - Mirrored
16) Iron & Wine - The Shepherd’s Dog
15) St. Vincent - Marry Me
14) Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - Living with the Living
13) Radiohead - In Rainbows
12) Menomena - Friend and Foe
11) Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War
10) The New Pornographers - Challengers
09) Panda Bear - Person Pitch
08) LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver
07) Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
06) Kevin Drew - Spirit If…
05) Voxtrot - Voxtrot
04) Feist - The Reminder
03) Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?
02) The National - Boxer
01) The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
