5th roommate of Chris. Punk rocker. Writer. Killed by Kyle's giant robot. Has a tendency of dying and being reincarnated. Former 4th roommate of Chris. Creative Writing major with minor in World Domination. Now a grad student/teaching assistant in English Literature. Bears a striking resemblance to a certain dictator. Possibly Burt Reynolds. Quick-witted neighbor of Chris and his roommates. Levelheaded. Works in a coffee shop. Once got lost in IKEA for a week. Roommate of Jen. Majoring in Family and Consumer Science. Wacky blonde. Not legally sane to take care of children. Warm-hearted. Large aorta. Overcharged libido. Other roommate of Jen. Ogrish. Eats men as nervous defense mechanism. Speaks incoherently. Once a beauty queen. Exposed to radiation. No spider-sense tingling. From London. Is the love interest of the hopeless Chris. Bio-Mathematical Poli-English major. Likes argyle designs. Won an entire game of Monopoly once. Member of the Delta Iota Kappa fraternity. Likes beer. Likes sex. Likes Dave Matthews Band. Gelled-hair. Has harem of girls follow him everywhere. Ex-girlfriend of Indie Rawk Jeffro. Current boyfriend of Kyle the Duck. World Domination major. Punk-indie-goth. Enjoys crocheting and emasculation. Fine and Applied Arts major. Too politically correct for own good. Enjoys feminist magazines and The Nation. Voted for Nader. Collection of sorority girls and undeclared majors. Blonde and vacant. Follows Duder around soliciting sex and/or alcohol. Unified entity. Likes to wear clothes from American Eagle. Electrical Engineering major. Part of the Enginerds. Sensible and sagacious. Mentor and older-brother-type person to Chris. Has stubble. Overly enthusiastic. Wears excessive Fighting Illini clothing and gear and subsequently whores out to the University. School pride may borderline mental illness. Literally bleeds orange and blue. Has pom-poms for some reason. Alumnus who visits currently-enrolled kids and gets drunk with them. Relives old, college glory days -- haphazardly. Wears short shorts. Trained in Bushido. Works for the University. Gives campus tours. Violently alerts students of late registration fees. Works with the OAR Viking and the OAR Yeoman. Sexy. Leather-clad. Innocent. Wholesome. Has cute red pigtails. Girlfriend and lover of Cyrus. Nuclear Engineer. Part of the Enginerds. Hates engineering. Likes Milwaukee's Best. Is boyfriend and lover to Kelly the Nympho. Frazzled Engineering Major. Member of the Enginerds. Addicted to caffeine. Has nervous ticks. Doesn't use shampoo. Mechanical Engineering major. Leader of the Enginerds. Scholastic rival to Kyle the Duck. Hates Liberal Arts students with an unhealthy passion. Female counterpart to Duder. Member of the Kappa Upsilon Nu sorority (Tau Chapter). Manipulative and mean. Beautiful and large-breasted. Poor peasant girl from war-torn Eastern Europe. Alternative love interest to Lizzy. Attractive and naive to American customs. Family killed in Communist Cow Regime, Red-Bull. College professor for the University of Illinois. Old. Hates students. Liver spots. Has Tenure. Real name is Prakash Dashrathbhai Patel. Part of the Enginerds. Loves to dance and get down. Favorite movie is You Got Served and awaits for sequel, You Got Served... Again! Can change forms. Has a scythe with Hello Kitty topper. Smokes cigarettes. Kills a lot of people. President of an American car company. Part toaster. Part refrigerator. Senior engineering project of Kyle the Duck. Frequently runs amok. Destroyed Champaign-Urbana one time. Friend of Chris. Very hairy. Often mistaken as Sasquatch. Mother and father of Chris. Very loving parents. Live in suburbia. Often have sex in Chris' old bedroom. Sent to replace Nigel and Randy. Horrendously lazy and unopinionated. As influential as a sack of Russet potatoes. Only embryo that can abort you. Carries a revolver. Wears top hat. Has stylish cape and moustache. Lord of all that is evil and ungodly. Lives in Hell. Disembodied voice. Often calls through the telephone. Awesome guy. Died for your sins. Wears sandals. Turns water into booze. Occasionally appears on sandwiches. Randomly appears. Often confused look on his face. Tastes delicious with a side of honey-mustard dipping sauce (possibly). Fuzzy. Cute. Small feet to scurry around campus. Hunt in numbers. Inherently evil. Rival to Nigel. Makes people fall in love. Has no bow and arrow but rather machine gun with "love bullets." Lost eye after intense game of Scrabble (letter "I" gouged his eye out). May have special powers hidden underneath eyepatch. Intern to Oakley Cupid. Cute and wholesome and has an insatiable bloodlust. Envied by Randy. Firearms specialist. Loves indie music. Worn-out denim jacket. Black-rimmed glasses. May have "missing facial appendage" fetish.